FAQs and Frequently Asked Questions:

Here is a list of questions nobody has actually ever asked us, but we wanted to answer anyway:

Q:  It certainly seems like a lot of trouble to do all this.  Not to mention the time and expense.  What is it with you guys?  Why do you do it?
Sam:  I don't know.  "Idle hands" and all that. 
Lester: Gee Sam, there is an entire page on this website already devoted to this question. Did you even read it?

Q:  Don't you have a life?
Sam:  Not one to speak of.  That is why I embrace all things dark and dead. 
Lester: Isn't fawning over the sexy undead a life?

Q:  Seriously though...why?
Sam:  It's fun.  And the local kids seem to love it.  We have had nothing but positive responses.
Lester: Seriously? What's this seriously business?

Q:  How many visitors do you average on Halloween?
Lester: Exactly how does one "average" a visitor?
Sam:  Well, we've never actually counted them, but we have estimated 500 or so.  And all year round I will get people (mostly kids, but some adults)asking if we will be putting on a Haunted House again.
Lester: Well, Sam has never actually counted them. I have, but once the count got into the upper double digits, I became confused. We also tried to count the number of candy pieces being distributed, but the candy givers can't seem to manage the "one piece of candy to one trick-or-treater" bit. Must be an overactive generosity gland or something. However, good and reliable sources have indicated that the count is very close to the 500 mark, kind of like what Sam said.

Q:  Who is we?
Sam: I am Sam.  My partner in all things dark and diabolical is Lester.  My leading actor is Chris (as the butcher).  My female lead is Lester's lovely, but often times very odd daughter, Jennifer (as Insane Killer Girl).  My Chief Prop Operators are Alex, and his assistant Marcus.  Set construction and fellow prop operator and 1/3 partner (and Jennifer's husband) is Tyler.  My Security Chief is Jim.  I take credit for Musical Director.  Lester is the Chief Designer.  Les and I both are the Creative Geniuses.  And we are also the financial backers...along with our reluctant wives, Jennifer (no relation to the abovebeforementioned Jennifer) and Penny.  Oh...and I should mention our Superintendants of Candy Distribution:  Jennifer, Penny, Richard, Bunny, Lil, Samantha and Robin.  There have been other assistants over the years, including, but not limited to, Miles, Malcom, Tyler's brother Brice, Zac, Brandon; Jeannie, Chuck, Glenn, Denise, Kevin and Amanda.  Special thanks for set piece acquistions to Terry and Chava.  And great thanks to Lester's friend who for unmentioned reasons will remain unnamed and otherwise anonymous.
Lester: "We Are Nomad."

Q:  That's a lot of people!
Sam:  That was not a question.

Q:  Why so many people?
Sam:  We've got a lot of good friends and family members who want to help.  Without their assistance, our haunt would not be the special place that it is.
Lester: What?

Q:  How would you rate your Haunt?
Sam:  About PG 13. 
Lester: Rated R - for violins and gore.
Sam: Some of it might be scary for little kids.  There is some gore, but not too much.  Most of it is good clean fun.
Lester: On a scale of 1-10, I give it an A. There have been zero incidents of food poisoing that have been confirmed and/or could stand up in a court of law.
Lester: Good clean fun...... huh.

Q: Who are some of the musical artists featured in the haunt?
Sam:  Mostly fairly unknown bands and artists.  They are probably better known in the Goth/Emo subculture.  I like using them because they are obscure, but also because their music is out of the mainstream.  I like people to hear some music and say, "Hey.  That's cool.  I wonder who it is?"  To answer your question, Gothminister, Android Lust, E Nominae, Oneroid Psychosis, Ego Likeness, T.O.W., Umbra et Imago.
Lester: That is a fancy pants way of saying "Cuz it makes our haunt sound really neat."

Q:  Are you guys like, Devil Worshipers or something?
Sam:  Not at all.  I don't even believe in ghosts.  But I've always loved being scared.  I love scary movies, scary books, and scary music.  I don't know why...it just works for me. 
Lester: I choose the "or something." You got a problem with that?
Disembodied Voice : Actually, they are believers and recognize that 1) Halloween was orginally a Christian holiday and 2) The entire mood, imagery, and feel of Halloween is based upon a mythology and in and of itself, is neither good or evil. It is what we as people make of it.
Lester: It's like the old cliche: "Guns don't kill people, bullets do! "